doing and becoming

“Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
- Mark Twain

Nice to come across this quote.
My dreams were not encouraged when I was younger and I feel fortunate to be where I am now. And where am I now? I'm here:

I recently quit my job at the art supply store and, after job searching awhile, will be starting a new one next week.
Have a solo show to prepare for in November, with a new gallery in Edmonton which I just joined.
Took on a complex but exciting commission through my Vancouver gallery.

What a wealth of choices I can make, options I have in life!

And I am in the midst of taking an evening class - Accounting. Of all things, accounting! Why on earth?
Because:

1. I went through a time of hating all things art a few months ago, and wanted to do something, anything, with the other side of my brain.

2. Knowing a bit about the financial side of things could be useful in my self-employed life.

3. It could also be useful if I ever need to get a "real" job with decent pay.

And taking the course is all right, it satisfies that part of my mind which longs for order amid the chaos. However finding myself immersed in meticulous rule-following activities is a bit disconcerting.

I struggle not to stare out the window at a wonderful view of highrise buildings in the early evening sun, their silvery edges and reflective glass, the blue shadows of receding spaces. You know how the light is at this time of year, sigh, so beautiful. I could probably draw that view now, from memory, fairly accurately.

Remembering the meanings of terms like "Capital" vs "Equity", in which order does one make a Balance Sheet, Income Statement, &c... shall we say it requires some mental effort. Which is what I signed up for, I'm not complaining.

In the class with me are people who work in offices, or have other similar knowledge of this world of business, and I feel a bit slow in comparison.

What, me? hard on myself? impatient? no, never! Haha.

So here I am, reminding myself that I am a great artist, that I can make great work for the November show and also complete the commission I've taken on, that I will enjoy the new p/t job, I'm intelligent and likeable enough and have the courage to return to school after 15 years to learn something totally outside my comfort zone, and that these things make me what I am.

Yep.
:)